I feel the pinch, the pinch of fear that makes my brow tense and my jaw clench tight.
I feel the pound of a million drums, pounding away in the bones of my chest.
I feel the panic like no other panic, that seeps into my nerves and sucks out the rational me.
I feel the waves, swelling and surging, the waves of uncertainty pulling me, swallowing me.
I feel the flight of my frenzied thoughts, their frenzied, head spinning, to and fro.
I feel the ache, the ache of my heart- throbbing in my veins, pumping through my flesh.
I feel the grief that's stuck in my throat, that can't cry or weep or whimper or gasp or breath.
I feel the wildness flash in my eyes, the wildness of being out of control-instinctive and raw.
I feel a moment- of a thousand moments- a thousand feelings, a thousand words.
I feel every promise, every memory- all at once so real and up close.
I feel the raw surge of instinctive emotion, that takes a second and makes it a lifetime.
I feel human, I feel bare, stripped down to my bones, standing bare at the edge of suspended time and space.
But then I feel God's grace streaming through like a blinding searchlight looking for survivors, and before I can even tell, the flash in the pan is gone.
