Dear Girling children.

Dear Girling children,

I wish to inform you that the 14 pieces of chewing gum you all shared this morning were for mummy, not for you.

Edan, toilet rolls are not for flushing, it worries me that you succeeded in doing so with a rather large one this morning.

Indiana, blistex is not hair gel, now your little sister looks like she's trying to be the fonz.

Mummy and Daddy's bed in not a trampoline or a writing pad, nor is it a toilet, please remember this in future.

Edan, eating left over sweet and sour sauce that you found in the bin with a spoon does not make it any more socially acceptable.

Indiana, your toothpaste artwork is not a wanted feature on our bathroom mirror, it does not enhance our decor.

Ava, growling from temper is not a behavior that you should even understand let alone act out as you do (so well).

We applaud imaginative dressing up in our house, but not when it involves mummy's baking paper.

'cake baking' should not be carried out when a banana and a 3 litre of milk are the only ingredients.

Indiana, you should consider trying a new brand of body paint, the brown one you're using at the moment smells bad.

Books are for reading not for ripping/eating/ paper fights.

I would appreciate the adjustments of certain behaviors in response to this most sincere letter.

Regards,

Your Mother.